Sex has an important role in most peoples lives, it’s an experience that we enjoy, and something we cherish in a couple as being unique and special. I personally think its crucial in a relationship if you want to be more than just ‘friends’.
What happens when sex becomes a chore and no longer is a pleasure? Is there a cure or do we just learn to deal with it?
The libido has gone! Lost your mojo? isn’t it crazy how all of a sudden, we no longer feel attracted to the person we love, we even feel repulsed when that person touches us or even utters a word to do with sex. In order to keep our loved one happy, we go through the motions, even ‘fake it’ all while thinking “lets get this over and done with”. This is torture, not only for you but for your partner, who essentially knows how you feel and is taking a real blow to thier confidence.
“Don’t worry, we will be fine, I’ll give you space, time and won’t even mention sex”. That’s essentially what you say, then one-week passes by, not so bad, 2, 3, 4, 5 weeks pass and then you start to question yourself. “Am I sexy?”, “do I still have what it takes to please my girl?”, “is my thing big enough?” (by the way that’s a myth guys, size doesn’t matter, in fact too big is just too much, trust me I know). You ask yourself if your sexy, good-looking, the right person etc. and your partner is probably going through the same thing.
Why is this happening to me?
Could it be a physical change to you or your partner? Studies show that having a body mass index (BMI) that’s too high or too low messes with your mojo. By gaining or losing a significant amount of weight you’re affecting your libido, due to a change in certain hormones.
Fact – With changes in weight, your levels of a natural chemical known as sex-hormone-binding globulin increases, causing bioavailable testosterone, the hormone that stimulates sexual desire, to fall. Jennifer Berman, MD, a urologist and sexual-health expert in Los Angeles.
Fact – High cholesterol can lead to plaque buildup in blood vessels that supply the pelvic region, slowing blood flow to the clitoris and genitals and annihilating sexual arousal. Jennifer Berman, MD, a urologist and sexual-health expert in Los Angeles.
Could it be psychological?
Fact – Studies show that a lack of confidence, low self-esteem, feeling insecure, focusing on your looks or what your partner or others think about you, will all have a bad effect on your sex life. Cindy Meston, PhD, director of the Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of Texas in Austin.
So how do we increase Libido?
Bring your sexy back!
When you lose the desire to f the brains out of someone sexually, or make sweat love, there’s no magic pill (that’s Viagra and we don’t have that problem, so to speak). Good news is, there’s no need for one. There are little things you can do each day to light your own fire. Don’t wait for libido to explode like some magical volcano in your body,” Kellogg Spadt says. “You have to foster and nurture it.” Here’s how.
Get your sweat on!
Research shows that women who exercise feel better about their bodies and have more energy for sex.
Physical exercise releases hormones, such as endorphins and dopamine, believed to affect the sex drive.
Getting you sweat on increases sexual sensations almost immediately (sex in the gym, hmmm an idea?)
If you have a gym in your house or just have some superhero acrobatic sexual skills whereby you can fcuk on the treadmill well listen to this; Doing just 20 minutes of cardio at 75% of your maximum effort – when you can only speak in choppy sentences – increases sexual excitement by a fcuking amazing 150%. How does this work, well “when you’re in a sexual situation later, blood is sent to the genitals more quickly and intensely?” The payoff, a rock on, or a very moist vagina (better arousal) and waterfalls and jet sprays (stronger orgasms).
The best sexercises;
Squats, lunges, but raises, deadlifts, yoga, jogging, cycling. Any exercises that increase blood flow to the thighs, buttocks, hamstrings, and pelvis.
So, work out for 20 minutes doing these type of exercises each week and then get it on with someone.
The best sex foods;
Foods rich in antioxidants, fatty acids, zinc, and amino acid asparagine. Dr. Berman says her top picks; asparagus, avocados, blueberries, salmon, and omega-3 enriched eggs.
Instead of reaching for the rob just after your shower, let it all loose, set your body free! Walk around the house, look in every mirror you have, gazing at you whole body rather than your problem areas. Soon being bare will become second nature and you’ll be feeling in tune with your inner feel-good sensations. Dr. Meston
Give yourself an orgasm when nobody else is around, this heightens the blood flow to your genital area, nourishing those cells and tissues and increasing your immunity against bacteria and yeast. Good sex and orgasms lead to more of the same, a survey of more than 2,000 women found that the 53 percent who used vibrators scored higher on measures of desire, arousal, and orgasm.
Put mind over mojo.
Focus on pleasurable sensations and not whether or not you look good or what the other person is thinking about your body, stay in the moment, don’t be a spectator.
Make the first move
Don’t always leave it up to the other person to make the first move, put on some sexy lingerie / underwear, high heels (girls only, unless you like that sort of thing) and bring out the toys. Initiate sex and just enjoy!
He’s fat and it’s a turnoff
You’re there working your ass off while he’s gaining love handles (turnoff). Ask him to join the gym with you, or better yet, encourage him to participate in fun sporting activities such as ice skating, swimming etc. Doing activities together will invigorate your relationship, according to research.
5 Libido Drainers
Certain medical conditions such as thyroid to immune system disorders, can affect your sexual energy. Depression is also a big culprit.
Being too busy or tired of sex, at least touch your partner when sleeping, spooning or sleeping back-to-back fosters sexual intimacy.
No pets in the bedroom!
Suggest a steamy shower together to get into a sexy mood.
Too Many Cocktails
Alcohol is a depressant, and it can throw hormone levels out of whack. Cut yourself off after one drink.